Whether we are hurt, anxious, lonely, despairing, or suffering in some other way, strength, choice, and change are the pathways we need to find our way out, and to build the lives we want instead. Counselling can help you learn to see these things more clearly, and help you see the world, and yourself, in a different way.

Far from being just a trick of the mind, deciding how you structure your inner life—and how you choose to see the world—can vastly improve your relationships and greatly increase your ability to be happy. In turn, these better relationships give you a support structure, and that cushion of support helps you to absorb life's blows. Instead of being laid low by setbacks, you make it through them by asking for help, you strengthen your relationships more when you ask others for help, and you find a way to make positive meaning out of otherwise “bad” events, drawing strength from them.

Untangling the Past

We have all learned how to think, act, and feel as a result of our experiences and important relationships. We might have developed certain ways of coping that used to make a lot of sense, especially for a child—for someone who had fewer choices. But these are more reactions than actions. As adults, those old ways of being can trap us in old patterns—or, at the very least, close us off from the lives and relationships we want. To change, we need to get perspective on these old ways of being. I am trained to help you see these patterns more clearly. Once you know what they are, you can start to think about what you want to keep and what you want to change—and throughout the process, you start to feel a lot better because you are finally choosing how to act, rather than just reacting to life.

Positive Feedback

The people in your life, new and old, often notice this sort of change, and they, too, feel better about it. They feel better about their interactions with you because you are acting more out of yourself, and your choices, than out of old habits that might not fit your current life. This frees you up to spend your energy and time in ways that strengthen you and your relationships, which means that when difficult times hit, you have a lot more resources available to make it through them.

Counselling Should Make Itself Unnecessary

Most of all, by developing these new ways of being and these better relationships, you get to a place where you feel as though you can manage life on your own (with your support system there, too, of course). You learn to develop inner resources with this safety net beneath you, and so your need for counselling decreases. The goal is to help you feel both more independent and more connected to the people you care about—ultimately, to need counselling less.

The old model that recommends daily counselling for years is very outdated. It doesn't see people's strengths or help them feel they can manage life on their own. Compass Counselling works with a much newer model, one that helps you find hope and strength for yourself.

And even though all of this sounds like a lot, many people can gain this sense of strength and hope for change in anywhere from 3–12 sessions. In the grand scheme of your life, that isn't very much time, but the benefits you get will last for the rest of your life.


Olivia Kienzel


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